Monday, June 8, 2009

From Meema & Da

Oh sweet baby!! I know I am not alone in having trouble composing this message. Partly because I am continuously talking to you each day and I know you hear me and the rest, because I'm still having trouble maintaining my composure when I am thinking about you. For such a little person you were a mighty powerful one. I know God had his reasons for the things he does but I have been angry because I miss you so. I thought that as time as passed my ache would ease but it hasn't. I try to picture you as a toddler like Josh, a curious and happy and 18 monther like cousin Abby, a rambunctious 4 or 5 year old like your cousins Jack and Zach, as a preteen like Virginia, Erin and Jake or as the lovely young lady your sister, Sam has become. I guess I am seeing a part of you as I get to watch them all.

You were so firmly entrenched in our hearts months before you were even born. We love you so much. You were truly a miracle baby who went on to bless so many of us. You came from God and you more than fulfilled the expectations he had for you. And I know you are in a place where you are whole again and surrounded by those who love you.

Sweet Emma Rose, how different things seem now. There's no precious bundle in that sunny spot by the windows, on the couch, in your daddy's cradle or in their arms. There's an emptiness in the crook of my neck where you would snuggle and I would sneak in endless kisses. Your mommy gave me one of your blankets and it is full of your sweet, sweet scent.

Even tho we knew you were on "loan" to us, saying goodbye was so very hard. Your mommy and daddy are two very special people. Even God thinks so because he entrusted you to them. We can all attest that they didn't let Him down. You are so very, very loved, little one. A part of you fills a big place in all of our hearts.

Your going home service was beautiful. Lots and lots of tears but then how could there not be. The whole family participated. Erin and Auntie Laurie each wrote and read beautiful poems. Uncle Rick wrote a very special piece for you that was beautiful. Da sent you off in a very royal way befitting the princess you are to us. At the cemetary we released 32 pink balloons. Did you see them?

Your little spot in the cemetery is close enough to the edge that we can pick it out when we drive by - that is if we make it by. The urge to stop and visit is too great. We've left loving reminders for you there. Along with more tears. Daddy and Joshua left beautiful flowers for you. I bring you flowers from our gardens so it's a bright spot for you.

We loved you so, we love you now even more. Sweet Blessings little one.
Meema and Da

If I had a flower for every time I
thought of you,
I could walk in my garden forever.

Irish Proverb